This entire blog is about vulnerability. Now is the time for you to learn a bit more about me. I am a madman at night. Hands down – no ifs, ands or buts about it. Jekyll and Hyde, Caleb and Lunatic.
Who in the World is This Guy?
The middle of the night… You know, the time of day when carefree loving fathers turn into raging lunatic werewolves after being roused from sleep. Oh, that’s just me? I call it “good dad/bad dad” time. I particularly struggle with this. During daytime hours I am all about make believe, going to the park, teaching my toddler how to crack eggs, showing my 8 month old son how to bite my ear when we wrestle, etc. That’s me.
But then there’s the version of me that wants to murder someone when I am woken from slumber. I sometimes don’t even remember what I say or do in the middle of the night. Roxanne has come to realize that waking me at night means she may get Caleb the husband or Caleb the Crazy; a mindless animal snarling about the little skin bag that won’t go to sleep in the next room. It’s a problem, I know. I’ve had many a conversation with Jesus about why He allows such apostasy in children, but He never seems to respond – I mean kids act like sleep is akin to the grips of death itself. “What’s wrong with you Lord?! You can fix this kid – so do it.”