Parenting Archives • Page 3 of 4 • The Foster Parenthood

Raising Children in a High Tech World…You Can’t Google Wisdom

July 28, 2015 by Caleb Foster

The other day I had a thought about my wife. It was not nice – the thought was: “It’s dumb that you don’t know that”. She was referring to the fact that she didn’t know squash molded. I basically thought she was dumb for not knowing that any vegetable would become moldy if left alone long enough. “How could she not know something so basic?”

And then it hit me. I often think this way when people do not know something that I know – or at least about something I think they should know. Have you ever experienced this in yourself? Why is that? What’s wrong with me? Why am I so quick to label someone as unintelligent or plain “dumb” if there is something they don’t know? More than this, it has become increasingly more apparent that this is a staple posture in our culture, especially among younger generations.

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Preparing Your Child for a New Baby

July 27, 2015 by Roxanne

I spent the entire last month of my second pregnancy rocking my firstborn to sleep every night and weeping over the changes she was about to face. It’s a bittersweet thing isn’t it? Having a second child? You know you’re giving your firstborn the greatest gift in the world by providing a sibling to share life with, but it doesn’t always feel wonderful. I ached because her life would look different and she would have no idea why.

My fears were high. Would she understand that we still loved her more than anything? Would she resent us? Would I resent the new baby? Would bringing home baby brother create a wild child acting out for attention? Have we made a huge mistake? How could we ever prepare her for this? I believe all of those fears are valid and normal. Bringing home another baby IS a big deal. It is life changing for your family unit, but especially for your firstborn.

Preparing your child for a new baby is a huge undertaking, and I believe it can be done well. I want to share a few things I know we did right, but unfortunately I know there are a few things we did wrong too. Hopefully you can learn from our mistakes!

(Photo credits to Laura Vanderzee, our very favorite photographer!)…

I Planned All the Fun, but Forgot to Participate

July 23, 2015 by Roxanne

Moms are the most prepared people on Earth. I can anticipate my family’s needs and be over-prepared for almost every single outing we take. We’re going to the pool? Ok, I need: swimsuits, swim diapers, sunscreen, aloe vera, sunglasses, sun hats, towels, an extra towel just in case, change of clothes, regular diapers, water, more water, snacks, toys and medical bag (which includes tylenol, teething tablets, baking soda in case of wasp sting, band-aids and Neosporin). I don’t think it’s possible for me to be more prepared.

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When Motherhood Isn’t Enough

July 21, 2015 by Roxanne

Because sometimes, it isn’t.

I’m right there with you. I understand. I’ve been there. I get it. I’ll probably be there again next week.

I’ll be the first to say, sometimes motherhood isn’t enough. I miss the days of my career. Assigning my value was easier then, I was successful and could point to several things to prove it. I made to-do lists that were actually completed (I can’t even fathom).

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Entitlement: Kicks and Screams

July 20, 2015 by Caleb Foster

I have to be honest. This is one of the hardest seasons of my life. So much has transpired in 2015. The first day of the year started with our shower and toilet backing up and overflowing into the bathroom. No biggie right? The next day our heat and air unit completely died and needed replacing. A week later one of our cars irreparably broke down and we needed to buy a new car. Three weeks later my father passed away. Around the same time, The Lord called me away from full time paid ministry and a little more than a month after my dad passed I left the ministry. This was particularly hard because, until that point I was completely convinced I’d be in full time ministry for the foreseeable future.

My job search in the meantime has extended way beyond the length of time I expected – it’s a slim market out there for a guy with a degree in Biblical Theology & Ministry. Due to many interviews that ended with the phrase, “It was hard, but we’ve decided to pursue more qualified candidates”, I am still waiting to settle up on a new career as I write this post. In addition to this, all of my sin patterns have risen to the surface due my tendency to trust more in myself than in God. My marriage is being stretched daily as we learn to trust God for financial provision, emotional provision, familial stability, etc. To say my family and I are being refined is an understatement.

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Second Child Problems…The Struggle Is REAL

July 17, 2015 by Roxanne

I don’t remember my first-born eating processed sugar with any regularity until after her first birthday.
My second-born has already sampled ice cream, cookies and cake. At 8 months old.

My first-born has a beautiful shadow-box with special memorabilia proudly displayed.
My second-born has the items I’d like to put in a shadow-box thrown in a drawer somewhere.

My first-born wore clean pajamas to bed every single night.
My second-born wears whatever he wore that day to bed. And then probably the next day too.

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Teaching your Children to Pray

July 16, 2015 by Roxanne

We want our children’s experience of life to be better and more rich with meaning than ours. That’s not to say our lives as children were bad necessarily, it’s simply that every parent’s desire is to offer more to their children than they had in every realm. It follows then, that Christians want their child’s experience of God to be deeper and more impactful than theirs was as a child. This begs the question: how will our children come to experience God more deeply and intimately than we did? It won’t magically happen.

When it comes to teaching our children to pray, how do we go about this? How exactly do we teach our children to pray? In what ways do we lead our kids into prayer such that God is seen as an ever-present, ever-loving, always-filled-with-mercy kind of Father who longs to be connected to His children?

We’ll talk about some basics to practice with your children this week: why, what and when. Why pray? What to pray? When to pray?

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Saying Goodbye to My Baby

July 13, 2015 by Roxanne

I see it.
I see you.
I see that you’ve grown.
Not yet a little girl, but no longer my little baby.

You want to do everything by yourself. Your newfound independence is both exciting and heart wrenching. You don’t need me the way you used to. I hear “I can do it” at least 50 times a day; brushing your teeth, combing your hair, putting on clothes – and you can! You can do all those things without me, and my heart swells with pride each time you successfully accomplish a new task all by yourself. This is what I’m training you for – independence. So why is it so incredibly painful?

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What Did Daddy Say?!

July 10, 2015 by Caleb Foster

“BE. QUIET. Your brother is trying to sleep.”
“I’m gonna count to 3!”
“Roxa… err, Carst… Scarlette – whatever your name is!”
“When mommy and daddy are talking you need to listen.”
“Don’t stand on that.”
“Don’t touch that!”
“Give that back to your brother.”
“Don’t take things from your sister.”
“Do NOT put that in your underwear!”
“Stop whining!”
“What did you just say?”
“Scarlette Grace!”
“Carsten James!”

So seriously – when did it happen? Did you even notice? No one sat me down and offered me lessons or handed me a language guide for parenting. Let’s face it. Some things just roll off the tongue effortlessly when parenting children. All those times I swore as kid never to be like or sound like my parents were pointless. The “mother’s curse”, or rather “father’s curse” is coming true. Not only do I sound like my parents, I am starting to look like my dad – pretty scary stuff. Pray for me.

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My Favorite Parenting Books So Far

July 7, 2015 by Roxanne

We brought sweet perfect Scarlette home and quickly realized – they’re leaving us alone to take care of this human. No more nurses, no more doctor check-ups, that’s it! We’re on our own! Taking care of basic needs, easy peasy. I had that completely under control. But how in the world do you raise a children to be kind? Caring? Loyal? Full of integrity? God-fearing?

Clearly, I’m only a few years into this parenting gig. I learned pretty quickly I had no idea what I was doing and needed as much help (i.e. parenting books) as I could find. I’ve rounded up my favorite reads to date with my personal review of each. Parenting books are EVERYWHERE with everyone claiming they have it all figured out. Trust me when I say, I no more have this figured out as I did the day we brought our girl home. But I won’t ever stop trying!

Now is a great time for a disclaimer. No one book is going to provide you with all of the answers to raising godly children. We firmly believe you can and should utilize as much wisdom as offered to you, and pull from it what works for YOUR family. What works for us, may not work for you. We understand that. We just want to offer the ones that have been impactful for our family (affiliate links are included for your convenience).

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