Moms are the most prepared people on Earth. I can anticipate my family’s needs and be over-prepared for almost every single outing we take. We’re going to the pool? Ok, I need: swimsuits, swim diapers, sunscreen, aloe vera, sunglasses, sun hats, towels, an extra towel just in case, change of clothes, regular diapers, water, more water, snacks, toys and medical bag (which includes tylenol, teething tablets, baking soda in case of wasp sting, band-aids and Neosporin). I don’t think it’s possible for me to be more prepared.
Here’s a real difference between moms and dads that regularly baffles me. Here’s the scene. We’re preparing dinner and I’ve asked Caleb to take the seeds out of the poblano peppers. The trash can is nearby with the lid off as we’re in the throes of dinner prep. The Girl Foster, 2.5, walks up to look into the trash can and asks what we’re doing. I have moved on to the sink but whip around at her voice to immediately catch her touching the peppers, then putting her fingers in her mouth. Ouch. All the while, Caleb is standing within inches from her, but so focused on the task at hand that he doesn’t notice. I hastily snap, “how could you not anticipate that happening?!”
This is NOT to say my husband isn’t an attentive, doting father. But the reality is unavoidable. I am more in tune with what my kids are thinking and may do next. Not only am I in tune, I am prepared for their next 5 steps, 90% of the time. I just cannot help it, it comes naturally.
I love planning our outings as a family. Planning and to-do lists are my love language. I enjoy coordinating details and especially love planning our road trips or family vacations. My mind just works that way. Summer bucket lists, things to see, birthday parties and new places around OKC to check out are the kinds of things that keep me excited.
All this to say, I’ve been really in touch with my thoughts this summer as we’ve been on adventures. I’m proud of how prepared I am in scenarios and love watching my kids enjoy their time without worrying they are missing anything they may need. But I’ve realized something incredibly upsetting.
I planned all the fun, but I forgot to participate.
I love my role as planner. I do, and I’m certainly not diminishing that gifting. But somewhere along the line I’ve lost sight of WHY I do such extensive planning. I strive to be sure we have everything we need so we can enjoy carefree adventures and create memories. Memories aren’t made just because everyone ate their snacks in their coordinated outfits. No, memories are made when we’re spending time together as a family, enjoying each other and our surroundings.
Oftentimes, I’m so caught up in what might happen next and whether or not we have everything we need for the next item on our agenda that I forget to live in the moment. I’m in my head, anticipating what’s to come and I miss what’s right in front of me.
I believe caring for my family by being prepared for their needs is a part of my role, and I’m happy to fulfill it. But I can’t keep sacrificing engaging in the fun because I’m so stressed and worried about what’s to come. That’s no way to live.
Mommas – join in on the fun! You helped get your family out the door and to your destination with a diaper bag full of back-ups. Now, put all the worries and what-ifs to rest and play! Live and enjoy the moments that are right in front of you, instead of thinking about the ones that come next.
It’s all passing so quickly – I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want you to miss it either! So HAVE FUN!
I am the same way. I plan our family trips and as a photographer I just want to capture it all. I need to remember to put the camera and be a part of the memories instead of capturing the memories.
It’s the photography part too! I’m ALWAYS snapping pictures! I need to watch with both eyes instead of a camera eye sometimes 😉
This is the way of the women in our family, to be fair your family does end up with wonderful memories,we just arent always part of the picture. my kids still talk about how they loved holidays and such growing up, and they talk about how I did this or that for them but rarely do they mention me other than what I did to make it happen. The balancing act never ends for moms, its our nature. love this artile.
Thanks aunt Sherri! We love the memories our mommas create – but we mommas need to enjoy them too!
Oh my goodness, this sounds familiar. I can completely relate! I need to realize I too can join in on the fun once in a while. It really does go by so quickly. We Mom’s gotta loosen up I think 😉
We HAVE to loosen up! Play and be free!
What a great reminder! I am the planner, too!
It just comes second-nature!
Oh my! I can definitely relate! I try to be deliberate about living in the moment, but it’s hard when I’m thinking five steps ahead.
It’s a blessing and a curse!
How easy it is to get caught up in the planning and forget about the DOING! I do this all the time as I’m usually the one taking most of the family pictures and making sure that we are trying to capture those moments. I find that if I’m not careful, I will be so busy documenting that I forget to be part of the fun. Thanks for this reminder!
WAY too easy! Life is meant to be lived, right?! We need to work harder to enjoy the moments!
I cant attest to being so involved that I forget to live in the moment. I have missed out on enjoying many events b/c I was so busy making sure everything was just right. Good post!
Glad you are a “planner” – but GLAD you are going to hopefully remember to have some fun next time!
I do this so often! What a great reminder to be present. It is much more fun that way!
We have added a epipin this year after finding out my grandson was allergic to bees. Most important thing in my daughters bag. I know when the girls were young I was still going over what I brought when we got to our destination. Great reminder to live in the moment!
Planning is a good thing. Following through is even more important. We need to not get so busy in life we miss those special, beautiful moments. Good reminder!
This is so true (well, I can relate in ways even though I’m not yet a mom)! It’s crazy how easy it is to get so caught up in everything that you miss participating! I’ve heard this said when taking pictures of kids, that it’s more fun when YOU are in the picture as well
This is oh so very true!! I have had the very same feelings and thoughts! I am learning to plan and participate, it’s not easy but little by little!
cathy
such a great reminder. We need to enjoy the moments that we plan.
I think too many moms have this problem, our brains are already on the next problem and we don’t stop and take time. Thanks for posting. Hello from Motivation Monday.
This is me – to a T! I’ve actually signed on as a contributor for a new site as “the planner,” if that tells you anything. 😛 Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for linking up at Christian Fellowship! Have a blessed week!
It is such a challenge to stay in the moment. Thank you for the reminder.
Stopping by from Meetup Monday!
Absolutely! We all need the encouragement!
I’m maybe not to caught up with the anticipating-everything that you are, but I get caught up in the planning and get exhausted and pissed off when it doesn’t all run so smoothly.
Years ago my husband forbid me to follow thru on my Christmas To Do List! Well, not actually forbid me, but firmly suggested I eliminate more than half of it because he said I was never any fun at Christmas because I had too much (unnecessary) stuff to do. I headed his words and gave up on the dream of a Martha Stewart Christmas. And then actually enjoyed myself!!
My mother-in-law planned to have us ride all the rides in the morning, when we d avoid lines, says Jennifer Milikien of a recent trip to Disney with her mom, her in-laws, and her 3-year-old daughter.
I love this post because this is me all the time! I’d love to include this in my weekly blog share roundup each Thursday! i hope that’s okay! Have a great night!